


Food Porn

by orphan_account



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: Best Friends, Dirty Talk, Food Metaphors, Foursome, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:29:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7709914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe wants to make a Murr sandwich.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Food Porn

“Look, if we’re making a sandwich here, then you know I gotta be the jelly,” Joe says, rubbing his stomach for emphasis.

“No! No sandwiches! All three of you together would crush me,” Murr protests.

Joe does a surprisingly graceful dive onto the bed and pins Murr’s wrists to the mattress. Murr lets out a series of squeaks as he fights agsinst the implicit threat of Joe's weight resting against his torso.

“Don’t you want some of my creamy peanut butter on your buns?”

“Joe, no, no! Don’t!” he protests.

Q and Sal are already on the floor dying, and Joe joins in after releasing Murray from his clutches. Murr quickly sits up.

“It’s not funny! You know I’m the smallest.”

“Oh, we know that,” Sal says. “That’s why we like you on the bottom all the time. You’re so small; you’re like a 100 calorie pack surrounded by Big Macs.”

Murr’s eyes widen, and his cheeks flame in embarrassment.

“I have never seen Murray be this quiet before. Have you guys? I mean, if all I gotta do is talk dirty to you about food to get you to shut up, then I’ll do it.”

Q moves away from the minibar and saunters back to Murr’s bed. The bed dips down as Q settles in next to Murr, who doesn’t know whether he wants to stay put or bolt as three sets of eyes watch him from different points on the bed.

“I-I don’t talk any more than you guys. That’s not fair.”

“And you know what, buddy? You say even less when you’re using those lips a-yours for somethin’ other than talkin’. You hungry for something, baby boy?”

He runs his thumb across his bottom lip before gently tugging it down. He swallows hard when he feels Joe’s hand come to rest on his thigh. His thumb rubs back and forth, maddeningly close to where he really wants Joe’s hand to be.

“Jesus Christ,” Sal husks. “Just _look_ at you guys right now. This is like porn. It’s like watching an actual porno.”

“Too bad you ain’t the pizza guy,” Joe says.

“You’ve literally got little Murr in the palm of your hand, and all you can think about is food,” Q states. “Why am I even surprised?”

“I’m not covered in pepperoni, but you can still eat me,” Murr jokes.

“Holy shit,” Q says under his breath. “That got _me_ hard.”

“You?” Joe asks. “What about me? Sal was right. Fuck the sandwich idea. We need to go deep dish on Murr.”

Sal moves in even closer, and Murr pulls his knees up to his chest to make room as the three slowly but surely encroached on his personal space.

“You’re all staring at me like I’m a piece of meat!”

Sal cups a hand under Murr’s chin and smiles like he had a plan for him.

“Baby boy, I’ve never had ferret meat before, but tonight, I’m feeling adventurous.”


End file.
